I can write thousands of words to tell our stories from the start up until now. Yet, I wouldn’t deny there is a lingering fear inside my heart, along with a big question of whether it is alright for me to once again openly share my words of affection online. I so often feel cautious that my expression here and there could be the source of my devastation, just in case something unfortunate happens between us (i.e., separation); which I couldn’t bear to think of at this point.
I realized that my feelings for you grew stronger as we know each other more. Though I’m quite unsure if it’s just my tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve when being in love, or if it’s my hormones taking control over me, or simply you are the person I never want to lose.
Sometimes, I also thought that..
“We’re two kindred spirits, both unconsciously keeping fears of falling too deep in love and the uncertainties of life. Yet, against all odds, we discovered solace in each other’s company — a bond marked by laughter, inside jokes, and tender caresses. And we are never willing to let it slip away.”
I have to be honest too, that this truly felt like love, and I no longer want to deny nor hide it, even worse to keep it only in my memories. Who knows if we end up together and this is something we can always recall together with laughs and warmth, even better to share it with our families (both present and future ones, hopefully)?
Wow, what a long preface~ 😀
…
Today you told me you have watched ‘Inside Out’ as I have recommended, hence you’d be already familiar with the term ‘Core memory’. And after our adventure which unfortunately had to end a few days ago 🥲, here I want to share my new ‘core memories’ with you:
#1 When we walked together along the Seine River, with me standing backward so I could keep looking at the Eiffel and you facing the roads ahead while leading my way, couldn’t stop giggling despite our fatigue after walking more than 15K steps a day and you being hungry for the night. Finally, near the bridge that we were aiming for, we sat on the bench and rambled about random topics while staring at the far-away Eiffel Tower. We had no photo of this moment, but rest assured it is neatly saved in my mind. :)
#2 The taste of your homemade milk coffee, which is way much better than those overpriced coffee around your neighborhood. 🙈
#3 When you, without further saying straightforwardly hugged me after knowing that my former colleague didn’t bother to reply to my message to meet up.
#4 When you tried to give me a back massage but somehow all I felt was a tickle and it ended abruptly. lol.
#5 When we do Sunday cleaning of your apartment before my departure that day.
Those simple moments which I would not trade for anything else right now. And I keep saying to you too, that simple moments are what truly matters to me.
So here I’m wishing from the bottom of my heart, that we will have more and more simple moments to share, along with endless laughter, giggles, inside jokes, and random topics to ponder on, while holding hands… Oh and also,
I love you.
We still owe ourselves Brussels’ fritters and waffles, so we definitely need another trip or a visit to Brussel, or an authentic Belgian restaurant anywhere in the world. Hehe. 😉
To more adventures with love and laughter in between. :)
x,
-T
