t-anissa

Saya cuma perlu seseorang yang sepenuhnya mengerti mengapa ‘dua’, bisa dan perlu menjadi ‘satu’ yang utuh serta saling menguatkan, sehingga ‘perjuangan’ bukanlah hal yang terlalu berat ataupun menakutkan untuk dilakukan;

“Mengapa saya, mengapa kamu, mengapa kita?”

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Just in case but if, if, if there’s no other way, or no one would be there.

Don’t I always have the choice to create my own happiness?

That happiness itself, should be a freedom from “desire”?

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What a ‘critical time’ for me to be able to listen to my inner voice:

To remain honest with myself, to chase or want something not because the majority have it, or that I am afraid of people’s perception of me, or even because I am ‘expected’ to have or achieve it. But because I whole-heartedly know and have undeterred faith that I genuinely want and need it, because of love, not fear.

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One of the stakeholders at the office asked about whether certain findings are answering the research questions or are they just a noise.

I wondered too,

am I setting myself in an environment that would provide constructive insights that would answer my soul searching, or have I been letting noises be my guide?

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They came as a gushy newlyweds, sharing stories about how love changes them, and the excitement of starting a new life together. Yet when I was about to feel genuinely happy for them, they indirectly suggesting me the recipe of finding a significant other.

I sighed, silently. “I didn’t ask for one, why bother advising?” I wondered inside.

Well maybe it’s true, then, we love to give advice to someone who seem having ‘less’ than us..

Or is it me, who have becoming bitter? Possibly.

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“I think it’s not the commitment that scares me, but the possibility of living with a ‘stranger’ when all you need is a best friend to talk about anything, anytime, regardless of millions of conversations you have had before… Or even when there’s no urgency to talk, that particular someone is the one whom I can always lean and hold onto, while we are sharing the silence — hopefully not for too long.”

Because isn’t it too sad, to share your sunset years with someone whose eyes are glued to the screen, too awkward to be silly or vulnerable to each other once again, and too prideful to say sorry and showing affections.

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t-anissa

t-anissa

I wonder, wander, write, and sometimes sketch people around. I believe in the power of empathy & optimism. 七転び八起き。